Rise of the Jews
by Mike Bell
Summary: Some different South Park fanfics, im a newbie writer, hehehe


**The Rise of the Jews**

"O.K. kids get out your math books, time for some multiplication." Mr. Garrison said.

"God damnit ! Math sucks balls." Cartman muttered.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO YOUR MATH!!!" Mr. Garrison yelled.

"Holy Shit, PMS." A voice came from the doorway.

"Kids this is our new student Michael. He' ll be joining Cartman in detention today after school." Mr. Garrison said, smirking. Mike sat down next to Cartman and started making faces at Mr. Garrison when he wasn't looking.

"Hello children." Chef said as he always did while the kids picked up they're trays.

"Hey Chef!" The kids replied.

"Who's this? " Chef asked curiously.

"He's the new kid, Mike." Stan replied.

Before Chef could reply, Cartman said, "Two deserts, Chef," as he usually did.

"I'll have the same " Mike said.

"Oh dear lord, another fatass" Chef said to himself.

"Hey!" Cartman and Mike said at the same time. They went to the only empty table left and sat down to eat. But right on cue Pip came up and sat with them.

" Where's the other freak?" Kyle asked.

" Butters has a horrible case of the flu." Pip replied.

"Serves the bastard right." Cartman said. He was still pissed at Mr. Garrison for giving him detention.

After school Cartman and Mike went down to the detention room, Cartman was quite familiar with it so he showed Mike where to go.

"This sucks balls!" Mike said.

"Ya, Mr. Garison is a dick" Cartman said.

The next morning Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Mike all waited at the bus stop as they did every morning.

"Why the hell is this fatass here?" Kyle asked.

"Shut up Jew, he's cool" Cartman said, actually standing up for somebody. The bus pulled up as Cartman said those words.

"Get on the bus and shut up!" The crazy hag of a bus driver said.

"Go suck a cow." Cartman muttered, as he usually did.

"What did you say!?!" The crazy bus driver said infuriated.

"Umm.. I said, I need to pee now." He said covering up what he actually said.

"Oh O.K." She said calming herself.

"O.K. kids we have yet another little brat cough I mean new student. Her name is Laura. One more student and I'll kill myself." Mr. Garison said muttering the last part. After the long lesson of math they went to the cafeteria.

"Hello children." Chef said yet again.

"Hey Chef!" Mike joining the other kids this time. "Who' s this, another new student!?!"

"Ya Chef, she's Laura." Kyle said. They all went to the same empty table after Mike and Cartman got their two deserts.

"Hello" Pip said joined in by butter this time.

"Oh _great_, Butters is back." Cartman said.

"Oh jeez, thanks Cartman." Butters said not realizing the sarcasm. After school Kyle and Laura were hanging out in the playground.

"So where do you come from?" Kyle asked.

"I'm from Canada, Eh." She replied with her Canadian "Eh" of course. "Don't you think that Cartman kid is an asshole, so is that Mike kid, Eh"

"I know what you mean, Cartman makes fun of me for being a Jew" Kyle said enjoying making fun of Cartman.

"Hey, I'm a Jew too!" Laura said enthusiastically. "We should show them that Jews can kick ass. Tell Cartman and Mike to meet us at the Monkey Bars tomorrow after school." She said vexed that someone would make fun of Jews.

"O.K. then!" Kyle said filled with excitement.

The next morning everything went as usual, math and then the kids headed for the lunchroom.

"Hello children" Chef said.

"Hey Chef!" Everyone said, even Laura as she gave Cartman the "Evil Glare".

"He-"Pip and Butters said, being cut off by Laura.

"Fuck off pipsqueak!" Laura snapped at him. He ran away. "Cartman and Mike, meet me and Kyle after school by the Monkey Bars. We're gonna kick your ass, Eh."

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Mike and Cartman burst out laughing. "You want to fight.... US!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"WE'LL SHOW YOU THAT JEWS CAN KICK ASS, EH!!!" Laura said furiously.

Mike and Cartman stopped laughing then burst out again knowing she was a Jew too. "Fuckin' Jews" They both said still laughing.

After school everybody was at the Monkey Bars, circled around Laura and Kyle, even Mr. Garrison. Cartman and Mike showed up a little later than everybody else. Behind them were Pip and Butters. After about a minute of a stare down the fight began. Cartman went for Kyle and Mike went for Laura. Each of them furiously punching at each other. Laura punched furiously at Mike's kidneys and face. Kyle wasting no time to start biting Cartman's arms and hands. Surprisingly it looked like the Jews were winning. Both Cartman and Mike hit the ground with a rumble and a jiggle almost at the same time. Kyle and Laura could taste victory. Standing triumphantly over the two seemingly defeated fat boys.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Is _that _the best you've got ." Cartman and Mike said as they both stood up laughing. Laura and Kyle stared at them with a puzzled face. Then Laura pulled out a gun.

"Time for Jews to win, Eh" She said with a smile on her face. Almost gloating.

Cartman and Mike took a step back.

"Just like a Jew to cheat." Mike said pretending not to be pissing his pants. The wet stain grew as he stood there.

She shot at Mike. Then out of nowhere Kenny jumped out and took the bullet for Mike.

"Oh My God!!!! You Killed Kenny!" Stan screamed in disbelief.

"You Bastard!" Kyle added, like normal, but then they both stopped and thought.

"Wait isn't Kenny already dead!?!" Stan asked, confused.

Then an airplane crash down on Laura with a crash, not as big as when Cartman and Mike fell but what could compete with that. She of course died, the anti-jewers won.

"Damnit" Kyle said disappointedly.

"HAHA stupid Jew, you lost." Cartman gloated.

"Shut up fatass!" Kyle said getting pissed.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home" Cartman said while him and Mike stormed off.

La Fin Written By: Michael Bell 


End file.
